Week14
Here Lies the Grazianimal
By Bob Graziano
I didn’t even want to write this week’s piece. Why? Because I got bounced, that’s why. 13 weeks of fictionalized competition, drafting Curtis Martin and Daunte Culpepper, watching the Redskin Dee stink up the field and what do I have to show for it? 200 bucks light in the wallet and I am the first in line for Ric’s 2006 Draft Bible. My team was the best of the rest. Where is the justice?
I have been giving advice this season but all you guys still playing should be giving it to me so I am gonna keep my comments to week 14 and the meaning of life. The meaning of life is making the playoffs. As for football…
The Eagles moved this week to screw T.O. out of his signing bonus money. What a surprise. This guy got up on a broken leg to bring down 125 yards in the SB and all he got for Christmas was an ass rape. This is the thing, the league and the team mandate that players make themselves available to the press. T.O. has to speak. He does not have to do it in his living room, but that is just semantics. Football wants players to talk to the press, I guess only if they spout the party line. In a league with a salary cap what do you expect besides communism?
I know T.O. is an asshole and he would not stop yapping. I know he makes more cash then the rest of us combined, but this whole thing stinks. America is supposed to be safe for assholes. It is in the land of the unenlightened where people are supposed to be scared of a dissenting opinion. If you think that Big Business can screw a dude making millions with all his lawyers and agents and that attitude does not filter down to Johnny Stooge like you and I, then you are an idiot.
When did all this Marxist-Leninist thought get to be considered good thinking? People were killing T.O. in Philly 9 to 1. A day does not go by with out some moron yapping about a salary cap in baseball or some other artificial way to insure “parity” or “fairness”. You know what’s fair, Freedom.
In non labor law related news, Kerry Collins sucks so bad he has turned Randy Moss into Donte’ Stallworth. The Raiders are so fed up that they are going to start Marques Tuiasosopo, a guy that was knocked out in his only career start. They are playing the Jets so he might look like a stud come Sunday night.
If you have been waiting all season for Eric Moulds to do something positive then don’t dust off that happy face tee shirt just yet. He managed to get himself a one game suspension for conduct detrimental this week. Just another wide receiver taking it in the shorts for a team with a quarterback problem. Have the Buffalo coaches been watching their team? Losman and Holcomb ain’t Montana and Young.
The Jets announced that Jay Fiedler might miss all of next year. The Jets are such a mess I just got to get on them. Fiedler took the field and was instantly injured for what might be two years. Does this stuff happen to any other team in sports? They are gonna be just good enough to lose Reggie Bush, but that is alright because Matt Leinart might be Joe Namath.
Picking 3 road teams I was 2 for 3 last week. My only loss was the Cowboys at Giant Stadium. These guys blew as bad as any team coached by the Tuna I have ever seen. The G-Men converted 4 of 15 3rd downs and won. I have got to hand it to Strahan and Tiki and the Giant veterans. They have gotten to 8 and 4 with a hit or miss QB and an interesting, to say the least, defensive backfield.
This week the Browns are getting 12 points to travel to Cincy and put Chad Johnson to the test. This just in… Chad guaranteed my lease and a bumper crop of soybeans. The Browns will start Charlie Frye after his solid performance last week. Ruben Droughns is just as productive on the Browns as he was last year on the Broncos. Romeo Crennel might be the most even keeled coach in the game this side of Nick Saban. The Bengals might be on their way to the Super Bowl. Chad sure thinks so. I would not be telling you about this game if I was picking a huge favorite. The Browns shock the Johnsons.
The Colts have a real opponent this week. No more Texans and Titans. The Jags beat a game Browns team last week with David Garrard at the helm. The Jags are 9 and 3. How did this team get to 9 and 3? Fred Taylor is out every other week. Jimmy Smith has been consistent if not as spectacular as when the season started. Greg Jones has gotten the job done as Taylor’s replacement. They’re at home. And there is no way that they stop this Colts team.
Chicago marches into Pittsburg as an underdog after showing the Pack the door. The Bears are on an 8 game winning streak and this week saw an argument about the QB’s starting job. A quarter’s job is to win, not get injured in the preseason. I think Lovie is smart enough to know that. Last week exposed the Steelers as a pretender in 2005. Big Ben is a week or two away from surgery. Still, the computer has Pitt in what I think would be a big upset. I don’t see it. Expect to see Charlie Batch taking a few snaps in this one. The Bears march on.
This week it’s the Browns, Bears and Colts and no bending over for The Man.
grazianimal@columnist.com for directions on winning playoff games.
By Bob Graziano
I didn’t even want to write this week’s piece. Why? Because I got bounced, that’s why. 13 weeks of fictionalized competition, drafting Curtis Martin and Daunte Culpepper, watching the Redskin Dee stink up the field and what do I have to show for it? 200 bucks light in the wallet and I am the first in line for Ric’s 2006 Draft Bible. My team was the best of the rest. Where is the justice?
I have been giving advice this season but all you guys still playing should be giving it to me so I am gonna keep my comments to week 14 and the meaning of life. The meaning of life is making the playoffs. As for football…
The Eagles moved this week to screw T.O. out of his signing bonus money. What a surprise. This guy got up on a broken leg to bring down 125 yards in the SB and all he got for Christmas was an ass rape. This is the thing, the league and the team mandate that players make themselves available to the press. T.O. has to speak. He does not have to do it in his living room, but that is just semantics. Football wants players to talk to the press, I guess only if they spout the party line. In a league with a salary cap what do you expect besides communism?
I know T.O. is an asshole and he would not stop yapping. I know he makes more cash then the rest of us combined, but this whole thing stinks. America is supposed to be safe for assholes. It is in the land of the unenlightened where people are supposed to be scared of a dissenting opinion. If you think that Big Business can screw a dude making millions with all his lawyers and agents and that attitude does not filter down to Johnny Stooge like you and I, then you are an idiot.
When did all this Marxist-Leninist thought get to be considered good thinking? People were killing T.O. in Philly 9 to 1. A day does not go by with out some moron yapping about a salary cap in baseball or some other artificial way to insure “parity” or “fairness”. You know what’s fair, Freedom.
In non labor law related news, Kerry Collins sucks so bad he has turned Randy Moss into Donte’ Stallworth. The Raiders are so fed up that they are going to start Marques Tuiasosopo, a guy that was knocked out in his only career start. They are playing the Jets so he might look like a stud come Sunday night.
If you have been waiting all season for Eric Moulds to do something positive then don’t dust off that happy face tee shirt just yet. He managed to get himself a one game suspension for conduct detrimental this week. Just another wide receiver taking it in the shorts for a team with a quarterback problem. Have the Buffalo coaches been watching their team? Losman and Holcomb ain’t Montana and Young.
The Jets announced that Jay Fiedler might miss all of next year. The Jets are such a mess I just got to get on them. Fiedler took the field and was instantly injured for what might be two years. Does this stuff happen to any other team in sports? They are gonna be just good enough to lose Reggie Bush, but that is alright because Matt Leinart might be Joe Namath.
Picking 3 road teams I was 2 for 3 last week. My only loss was the Cowboys at Giant Stadium. These guys blew as bad as any team coached by the Tuna I have ever seen. The G-Men converted 4 of 15 3rd downs and won. I have got to hand it to Strahan and Tiki and the Giant veterans. They have gotten to 8 and 4 with a hit or miss QB and an interesting, to say the least, defensive backfield.
This week the Browns are getting 12 points to travel to Cincy and put Chad Johnson to the test. This just in… Chad guaranteed my lease and a bumper crop of soybeans. The Browns will start Charlie Frye after his solid performance last week. Ruben Droughns is just as productive on the Browns as he was last year on the Broncos. Romeo Crennel might be the most even keeled coach in the game this side of Nick Saban. The Bengals might be on their way to the Super Bowl. Chad sure thinks so. I would not be telling you about this game if I was picking a huge favorite. The Browns shock the Johnsons.
The Colts have a real opponent this week. No more Texans and Titans. The Jags beat a game Browns team last week with David Garrard at the helm. The Jags are 9 and 3. How did this team get to 9 and 3? Fred Taylor is out every other week. Jimmy Smith has been consistent if not as spectacular as when the season started. Greg Jones has gotten the job done as Taylor’s replacement. They’re at home. And there is no way that they stop this Colts team.
Chicago marches into Pittsburg as an underdog after showing the Pack the door. The Bears are on an 8 game winning streak and this week saw an argument about the QB’s starting job. A quarter’s job is to win, not get injured in the preseason. I think Lovie is smart enough to know that. Last week exposed the Steelers as a pretender in 2005. Big Ben is a week or two away from surgery. Still, the computer has Pitt in what I think would be a big upset. I don’t see it. Expect to see Charlie Batch taking a few snaps in this one. The Bears march on.
This week it’s the Browns, Bears and Colts and no bending over for The Man.
grazianimal@columnist.com for directions on winning playoff games.
posted by grazianimal at 9:10 PM
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