Week 16
Tragedy Strikes.
By Bob Graziano
I am sure that you have all heard the news. Only days before Christmas, Tony Dungy’s first born was found dead in his Florida apartment. There are no words to express the sorrow. My deepest condolences to the entire Dungy family.
This last sad turn overshadowed a week of football that was the finest in 2005. Week 15 saw the Giants bounce the Chiefs with an all time performance by Tiki Barber. The Skins dismantled the Cowboys to set up a monster contest on Christmas Eve with those aforementioned G-men. New England trounced Tampa, the Bears bounced back against the Dirty Birds, Seattle survived a game McNair, and most shocking of all the Bolts bounced the Colts. The Shula crew poured bubbly again after San Diego shocked the world, or at least the press, and kept their flickering playoff hopes alive.
On the police blotter, Daunte Culpepper and 3 other Vikes were indicted for their roles in the Love Boat fiasco. Mike Tice also saw his winning streak slip under the waves as the Steel Curtain slapped those rampaging Vikings down. No other coach has done as fine a job in the face of the pure lunacy that has been the Vikings season. That being said, Coach Tice must find playoff tickets under the tree if he is going to get serious consideration for Coach of the Year. At this point I don’t see how his job could be in jeopardy. Randy Moss split before the season began; his all pro QB got himself taken off the field looking like a pretzel and is staring jail time in the face and Fred Smoot has spent the season causing trouble for everybody but opposing wide receivers. Not to mention that clip Tice suffered on the sideline. Tice is the guy they should keep. The rest of these clowns are the ones that should be packing their jock straps.
In Fantasy Land, most leagues are having their Championship games this week. I wish all the best to all the players that have finished in the money. Championships are what it is all about. A tip to all commissioners: in my league the Commish has paired up the entire league in various Bowls for the Holiday. For example the Get a F****** Name Already Bowl for the two dudes in our league that never gave their teams a name. This is both a fun way to end the season and keeps everybody interested in the league.
Last week I was 3 and 1 with my picks, only losing with the Colts of all teams. I have been so good at telling the future this season that there is a line of gypsies outside my house looking for advice. They are building a shrine to me at the OTB on the corner and my bookie just skipped town. The Grazianimal sees all!
This week promises gifts galore for football fans as the NFL is gearing up for its own playoff run. If you are still alive then you should be careful playing guys on teams that have clinched their berths already. Of course if you are still alive then the hell with you.
Game Number 1: Giants at Redskins
The G-Men march into Fed-Ex with a lead in the division and a lopsided victory over the Redskins in hand. Everything can change on a dime as the Redskins have remained relevant with a three game win streak and an 8 and 2 conference record. Tiki Barber is coming off a record setting 220 yard performance against the chiefs that has got people chattering about MVP consideration. The Giants have succeeded by any measure, turning a 4 and 12 team into a 10 win team with two to play. They have overcome a weak early defense and inconsistent QB play from Eli mostly with outstanding contributions from their veterans and a breakout season from Osi Umenyiora. They have also done it mostly at home. The Skins sport the biggest stadium in football and it is going to be loud. They got over that midseason swoon, got out of ‘Zona alive and pounded a hapless Cowpuke team just like was predicted in this column. Clinton Portis refuses to give up on the costume gag and I love it. Brunell is the exact opposite of Manning; over the hill, old, and super experienced. The kid is the only 2 and 3 on the road. Skins make the NFC East go down to the last weekend.
#2: San Diego at K.C.
This game is most likely an eliminator game for the loser. Both these teams have been called the second best team in the AFC at one point or another but both have piled up the bad losses. Larry Johnson has been putting on elite performances ever since the Priest went down for the season. LaDanian is all-world but comes into town nursing bruised ribs, the kind of injury that feels fine until the first lick of the game. K.C. has injury issues with Eddie Kennison nursing a bum knee. The Chiefs are way tougher at home then on the road, only losing one. The Bolts are gonna freeze. Chiefs put the sunset on sunny San Diego.
Game #3: Atlanta at the Bucs
This is another pick-um’ game with a shot at the playoffs at stake. The Buccaneers are in better position, but the Falcons are dangerous with Mike Vick at the helm. Both these teams were exposed last week against superior competition on the road and in cold weather. Lucky for both teams the game is in Florida. I wish I was in Florida. I could sublet my apartment out to the butcher as an extra meat locker. This game is gonna come down to playmakers. I like Dunn better than Cadillac and Vick better than Simms. Galloway is the wild card as he has no opposite on the Falcons team. It will come down to who wants it more so I am going with the Dirty Birds because they had the desire to make the NFC title game last year.
Bonus Pick: The It Means Less Than Nothing Bowl
I got the Seahawk scrubs over the Colt back-ups. This game is a possible preview of the Superbowl in laundry only as nobody of consequence will log more than a quarter.
Falcons piss off Chucky, Chiefs excuse Marty, and The Redskins snuff out the Tiki torch, with the Great Northwest raining on Indy.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to All!!
Send regifts to grazianimal@columnist.com
By Bob Graziano
I am sure that you have all heard the news. Only days before Christmas, Tony Dungy’s first born was found dead in his Florida apartment. There are no words to express the sorrow. My deepest condolences to the entire Dungy family.
This last sad turn overshadowed a week of football that was the finest in 2005. Week 15 saw the Giants bounce the Chiefs with an all time performance by Tiki Barber. The Skins dismantled the Cowboys to set up a monster contest on Christmas Eve with those aforementioned G-men. New England trounced Tampa, the Bears bounced back against the Dirty Birds, Seattle survived a game McNair, and most shocking of all the Bolts bounced the Colts. The Shula crew poured bubbly again after San Diego shocked the world, or at least the press, and kept their flickering playoff hopes alive.
On the police blotter, Daunte Culpepper and 3 other Vikes were indicted for their roles in the Love Boat fiasco. Mike Tice also saw his winning streak slip under the waves as the Steel Curtain slapped those rampaging Vikings down. No other coach has done as fine a job in the face of the pure lunacy that has been the Vikings season. That being said, Coach Tice must find playoff tickets under the tree if he is going to get serious consideration for Coach of the Year. At this point I don’t see how his job could be in jeopardy. Randy Moss split before the season began; his all pro QB got himself taken off the field looking like a pretzel and is staring jail time in the face and Fred Smoot has spent the season causing trouble for everybody but opposing wide receivers. Not to mention that clip Tice suffered on the sideline. Tice is the guy they should keep. The rest of these clowns are the ones that should be packing their jock straps.
In Fantasy Land, most leagues are having their Championship games this week. I wish all the best to all the players that have finished in the money. Championships are what it is all about. A tip to all commissioners: in my league the Commish has paired up the entire league in various Bowls for the Holiday. For example the Get a F****** Name Already Bowl for the two dudes in our league that never gave their teams a name. This is both a fun way to end the season and keeps everybody interested in the league.
Last week I was 3 and 1 with my picks, only losing with the Colts of all teams. I have been so good at telling the future this season that there is a line of gypsies outside my house looking for advice. They are building a shrine to me at the OTB on the corner and my bookie just skipped town. The Grazianimal sees all!
This week promises gifts galore for football fans as the NFL is gearing up for its own playoff run. If you are still alive then you should be careful playing guys on teams that have clinched their berths already. Of course if you are still alive then the hell with you.
Game Number 1: Giants at Redskins
The G-Men march into Fed-Ex with a lead in the division and a lopsided victory over the Redskins in hand. Everything can change on a dime as the Redskins have remained relevant with a three game win streak and an 8 and 2 conference record. Tiki Barber is coming off a record setting 220 yard performance against the chiefs that has got people chattering about MVP consideration. The Giants have succeeded by any measure, turning a 4 and 12 team into a 10 win team with two to play. They have overcome a weak early defense and inconsistent QB play from Eli mostly with outstanding contributions from their veterans and a breakout season from Osi Umenyiora. They have also done it mostly at home. The Skins sport the biggest stadium in football and it is going to be loud. They got over that midseason swoon, got out of ‘Zona alive and pounded a hapless Cowpuke team just like was predicted in this column. Clinton Portis refuses to give up on the costume gag and I love it. Brunell is the exact opposite of Manning; over the hill, old, and super experienced. The kid is the only 2 and 3 on the road. Skins make the NFC East go down to the last weekend.
#2: San Diego at K.C.
This game is most likely an eliminator game for the loser. Both these teams have been called the second best team in the AFC at one point or another but both have piled up the bad losses. Larry Johnson has been putting on elite performances ever since the Priest went down for the season. LaDanian is all-world but comes into town nursing bruised ribs, the kind of injury that feels fine until the first lick of the game. K.C. has injury issues with Eddie Kennison nursing a bum knee. The Chiefs are way tougher at home then on the road, only losing one. The Bolts are gonna freeze. Chiefs put the sunset on sunny San Diego.
Game #3: Atlanta at the Bucs
This is another pick-um’ game with a shot at the playoffs at stake. The Buccaneers are in better position, but the Falcons are dangerous with Mike Vick at the helm. Both these teams were exposed last week against superior competition on the road and in cold weather. Lucky for both teams the game is in Florida. I wish I was in Florida. I could sublet my apartment out to the butcher as an extra meat locker. This game is gonna come down to playmakers. I like Dunn better than Cadillac and Vick better than Simms. Galloway is the wild card as he has no opposite on the Falcons team. It will come down to who wants it more so I am going with the Dirty Birds because they had the desire to make the NFC title game last year.
Bonus Pick: The It Means Less Than Nothing Bowl
I got the Seahawk scrubs over the Colt back-ups. This game is a possible preview of the Superbowl in laundry only as nobody of consequence will log more than a quarter.
Falcons piss off Chucky, Chiefs excuse Marty, and The Redskins snuff out the Tiki torch, with the Great Northwest raining on Indy.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to All!!
Send regifts to grazianimal@columnist.com
posted by grazianimal at 1:46 PM
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