#3 The Grazianimal Speaks!

Week 11 is right around the corner and the Fantasy Playoffs are on the horizon. Most leagues are staring their trading deadlines right in the face. The last chance to stock up your lineup for the championship run, will you pull the trigger?

Here is a deadline tip. If you are deep at a position now is the time to use that depth to diversify your line up. Good starters win games, trade those guys that would sit on your bench under normal circumstances. You should have a good idea what players are prone to missing time and those that are warhorses. Expect to use the waiver wire to cover injuries over the last six weeks of the season. Blockbusters are fun, but a little move for a guy who will start can make the difference for your team.

On to Football. The Vikings raided the Meadowlands, storming the Giants with the first ever punt, kickoff, and interception returned for touchdowns in one game. Young Eli looked a lot more like the old man then his big brother, tossing 4 INT’s. Manning and the Giants let a hapless Viking team off the canvas and right back into the race in the NFC North. I think the 6 and 3 Bears have what it takes, but at 4 and 5 and reinvigorated the Purple People Eaters have at least another week in them.

Anybody who loves the game is disgusted by instant replay. The Washington Redskins were disgusted by instant replay when a view of Mike Alstott’s 2-point conversion that showed his elbow on the ground outside of the end zone was ignored and the go ahead points were awarded to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. This is what the league has devolved into, Mike Pereira, Head of Officials, must go onto the NFL network each week and explain what the hell these guys were thinking. “Even though we had some incontrovertible evidence, it was against the home team and therefore we had to rule for the Schmukaneers.” Gag me with a 3 chip Hi-Def digital video camera.

While I am ranting about folks that don’t know what they are doing, The Philadelphia Eagles.

Week 11 has one overriding storyline. The game of the week is the Colts and, would you believe, the Bengals. Cincy is 7 and 2 and tied with the Steelers atop the AFC North. It sure is not three years ago. Chad Johnson just guaranteed that he would not be stopped on Sunday. The Colts have not been stopped all season. 9 and zero after showing the Texans what the other side of the football rainbow looks like. I think this team has what it takes to make a move on those ’72 Dolphins. With a nod to Chad and his pronouncement I am picking the Colts for 10 and 0h baby!

I was 2 and 1 in my picks last week and that brought my career record in this column to 5 on the monies and 1 Gus Frerotte. My bad on that one. I had that Colts-Texans game figured, Ha Ha, and the Fish let one get away. I told the future with Green Bay and Atlanta. The Grazianimal sees all.

Brett brought the scattergun to dirty bird country in the person of Samkon Gado. The Pack ain’t so bad with a running game. They are back to Lambeau for the Vikes on Monday night in a game that was not supposed to mean anything. Suddenly Minnesota is tied for second in the division with a lot a football to play. If you picked up Gado last week, put him in. The GB wide receivers, Driver, and at this point, Chatman are good plays. You should also consider Mewelde Moore as a 2^nd RB if you need him and his wrist is healed. He had a TD return against the Giants but saw no carries. If he does not play again, then Mike Bennett will get the work. Pay attention to the injury reports. One of those guys should have a nice stat line.

The Skins are reeling after a quick start, losing 2 of 3. Lucky for them the Raiders stumble into FedEx Field on a two game losing streak. The Redskins are undefeated at home, 4 and 0, and that is a good omen for owners of Washington braves. Look to this game for a Brunell renaissance and another Santana explosion. Clinton Portis and LaMont Jordan are must starts. Randy Moss and Jerry Porter have a tougher job. They are both banged up and the Skin Dee is solid if not spectacular, all the more so at home. Moss has been a must start all season, but has failed to break ten points twice in the last 4 weeks. Maybe he is not a must start. Nah, he is. There probably will be a lot of points to go around in this one.

The Jets are a mess. Their coach is being openly courted by a conference rival, they just lost another starter, and Carolina whooped up on them. Thirteen point underdogs on the road against a surprisingly strong Denver team, only a maniac would take the Jets to win outright. I am such a maniac. Here is why. The kid has got chutzpah to spare. The Jets can stop the run. Curtis Martin is my starting running back. And the kid has got brass balls. The Jets almost caught the Bolts on a day when LT had 4 scores. They played the Cats to a standstill until the game exploded on them. Are the bucking Broncs an 8 and 2 team? The computer gives the Jets this game 1 in 5 times. I am giving it to them on Sunday.

From the miserable to the sublime, Carolina and Chicago have not gotten all the press, but this game could preview the NFC championship. Chi-town is strong. No one wants to give them respect because of Kyle Orton’s inexperience, but he has driven this team to 6 and 3. They have built on a foundation of defense and smash mouth running and how many titles were won on those bricks? Carolina has moved to 7 and 2 with a six game streak. Steve Smith is a whirlwind. This game is gonna be awesome. Last week the home dog betrayed me…Panthers.

I has come to my attention that some folks can’t figure who I pick, so this week it is the Jets, Panthers, and Colts Oh My!

E-mail stupidity to: grazianimal@columnist.com

#2 The Week That Was and the Week That Will Be

Time Out! Total Overkill! Terrell Owens Fired! No Fun League Strikes Again!

Holy overkill Batman! The Eagles, in their “we know what we are doing, we never won a Super Bowl mindset”, fired their best player and promptly lost to division rival Washington. “We can’t take it anymore! All this guy does is bitch all week and kick ass all Sunday!” hollered Coach Reid. How dare he make fun of nice guy “Chunky Soup” McNabb? How dare he blow the doors off opposing DB’s? In the land of “We boo Santa” Philly, there is no place for “I boo my QB” Terrell.

There has not been a bigger faux pas since Ike cut Patton. Not since the French let the Muslims in. What the hell is Philly thinking? Harmony does not win ballgames, 91 yard TD receptions do. Terrell does not shut up, and he says stupid things to ESPN interns on his doorstep with the video cameras they got for Christmas. This is not news. His agent is a numbskull. This is not news. He wants more money because he is the finest wide receiver in all of football land. So instead of giving this guy a raise the Philadelphia brain trust fired their superstar. Smooth move Ex-lax. Try this one on for size Andy, “I have no comment on Mr. Owens’ comments.” But then Andy would not be leading his team. Leading them right into the cellar of the NFC East.

In football action this week every running back in fantasy land was injured. Or so it seemed as Tom Jones, Fred Taylor, Mewelde Moore, Reuben Droughns and Kevin Jones all left week 9 hurt. At least Reuben piled up the yards before being helped off the field. Inspired by the Ohio State Police he had 116 yards on the ground and 73 more through the air. All that running and booze must have led to his leg cramps. He should be in fine working order week 10.

By now if you have been paying attention to your Fantasy team then you understand the injury bug is a gigantic roach that consumes all the players it can get it’s antennae on. I hope that you have planned accordingly. Depth wins championships. The good news is that Sam Gado, Mike Bennett, ReShard Lee, Adrian Peterson, Cedric Benson, Alvin Pearman and Greg Jones should be on the waiver wire. Look for these guys to see action and plug roster holes for the near future. Both Gado and Peterson looked good scoring TD’s and running for over 50 yards. The rookie Benson had 79 yards. Gado had 26 carries so expect the Pack to stick with the hot hand. Mike Bennett had 106 and a TD reception for Minny. Nice action if you can get it.

Sadly, it seems like the career of Wayne Chrebet is over. I witnessed the noggin rocking tackle that sent Wayne into La La land. The guy has played hard his whole career and put his team ahead of his own safety. Let’s hope he quits before he’s drooling into a cup. The 2005 Jets are not worth it.

At the Jets game, Curtis Martin scored his 100th career touchdown, one of only 17 men to do it. The stadium announcer made mention. Just food for thought.

Toot! Toot! Toot! That is the sound of my own horn honking. I was 3 for 3 on picks last week calling the Bears, the Skins and the Colts who tossed off the monkey and the Patriots at Lincoln Field. Boy Peyton is well on his way this year, 8 for 8 at the turn. This week is cake as the not so tall Texans walk into Indy. I am picking Indy to be 9 and 0 when they stride into Cincinnati in week 11.

That is the easiest pick on the board, so let’s look at New England and Miami. This game is for first as 3 and 5 Miami is only one game behind 4 and 4 New England. The Pats are a road favorite despite the middling record and the faltering defense. Gus Ferotte is the polar opposite of Tom Terrific. Tom good, Gus Bad. So how do the Dolphins pull this one out? Rushing.

The Pat Dee is letting up 4.0 yards a rush and The Fish can run. The two headed pot smoking monster that is Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams is tearing up the league.

RB has 173 yards the last two weeks, RW has 134. They both have a knack for busting big runs. If Chris Chambers and Marty Booker can just keep the New England defenders honest expect the Kid from ‘Bama and the Stoned Hammer to win it for Miami. I am picking the home dog.

Chicago survived the aforementioned loss of their starting horse to clip the Saints on the final play in Red Stick, Louisiana. The Bears are rolling, four wins in a row for the first time since ‘01-’02. You have to simply love the ’05 Bears. Smash mouth and Orton off the bench has them sitting in first with the 49er’s on the way into town. I called on Mushin last week and he responded with 3 balls for 85 yards. Stick with him.

Pick number 3 this week is Green Bay over the Dirty Birds in Hotlanta. Farve on the rug in the dome running and gunning all day. The master teaches the young jedi a thing or two about throwing down field. And winning.

#1 THE WEEK THAT WAS AND THE WEEK THAT WILL BE

An earthquake struck the NFL and it was not the beginning of my correspondence. The epicenter of this trembler was the right knee of one Dante Culpepper. The All-pro All-world quarter had his lower leg torqued almost completely off after a ten yard scamper. A brutal injury and the alphabet soup of torn ligament designations did nothing to quell the horror of the Halloween’s eve collision.

Aftershocks rolled over the Football landscape. Fred Smoot was left defenseless. Ruben Droughns could not handle the stress. And all those in Fantasy land were forced to abandon all hope of a Minnesota renaissance. Except Brad Johnson, on whose shoulders it falls to captain the purple and golden Titanic. Pick him up if you need some quarterback depth.

On the other side of the freakish injury coin, Teddy Bruschi returned to the field of play for the reigning champs. He promptly solidified what had been a porous New England defense by taking down ten opposing ball carriers. Bruschi arrived just in time for the return of boy Peyton and the Colts. The flywheels of team Belichick must be spinning furiously with thoughts of torture for the strong armed Cajun. A football fan’s delight on Monday night.

In Pittsburg, Big Ben showed again that he is the real deal. It would be presumptuous to refer to him as the finest in the league, but the folks in Steel City have nothing but blue skies ahead. I watched as young Benjammin’ steeled himself against a lineman’s attack and then threw the completion. Nice.

You cannot have a discussion of week 8 and not include Steve Smith. The dude looks like a Grand National with the throttle wide open. If you picked him up with your 2^nd or 3^rd receiver choice then you know exactly what I am talking about. Start him if he’s got the week off.

The Giants sent their prayers and the Skins up to Heaven and did old man Mara Proud. Big Blue made a statement in the NFC east. Lucky for the Skins you can make a statement almost every week in that division. They are my first pick, ever. The Washington Redskins will step back up to the plate and slap the reeling Eagles in cheese steak land.

We are blessed. As fans of the Game every snap that slams into the hands of Brett Farve has the chance to be fantastic. I never saw Namath. I never saw Fran. Farve is the gunslinger. He plays by the seat of his pants. It brought him a championship and we are all the better for it. And it could end any minute. One and six make those linemen look gigantic. Let’s hope the undermanned Pack can figure a way to win one for the Mississippi Madman. With Pitt on the horizon, it will not be easy. Play Driver and Chatman and Franks because Brett will be behind and chucking it.

The Jets. How to continue? They are on quarterback #3 after trying #4 and losing #1 and #2. Of all people LaDainian Tomlinson strides into Giants Stadium. In an aside, can the Jets get a home? How are they ever going to stand tall playing inside the blue walls? L.T. is so freakin’ good he already has a hall of fame nickname. Play him in all formats. The only Jet in your lineup could be Curtis Martin if you don’t have an obviously stronger option. This will be high scoring. He gets the ball even if Heimodingbag has no idea how to use him.

By the time I get to Arizona. What is the Green machine thinking benching McCown? Does he want to see Kurt Warner drop back and get clobbered again? He didn’t see enough of that already, or with the Giants last year? Kurt’s wife has not convinced the Cards that he is a meathead? Play Seattle D as Kurt likes to sit. A lot.

Chi town’s finest. Monsters of the midseason. They have played ball and they are in first place as Lovie Smith has so properly pointed out to the press. Poor N.O. Their city was destroyed. No foolin’, New Orleans is freakin’ empty. Folks have been pounding on Tom Benson, but in his defense, the Big Easy is gone and it might be years before there are enough people letting the good times roll to sell out a game. Not that they did before the apocalypse.

Play Tom Jones. Play the Chicago defense. And this week play Mushin Muhammad. This is the week that the travel, the disaster and the home games in who knows where catch up to the Saints and the Bears show they are for real. The kid is learning quick. The Bears get points this week, and I am picking them for the victory.

Ya thought I was gonna pass? Hah? No way. The game of the week is the Colts and the Patriots and here are my two cents. Colts. Damn Pats had enough winning.