The Playoffs Roll!
Football Fires Everybody or Week 19
By Bob Graziano
Before we discuss this week’s games, I want to bring up the coaching carousel that has spun with abandon in the last two weeks. The number of dismissed Heads of Pigskin Playcalling is at nine and counting. Some guys had it coming (Norv “please just give me a coordinator’s job” Turner) and others ran screaming from their offices (Jim “taxi!” Haslett). In other places guy got the ax in spite of success. Yeah I am talking about Mike Tice.
All this guy did was turn around a sunken ship. His all-pro quarterback was indicted this year. Indicted! It is also no coincidence that the turnaround started as soon as they carted said all-pro off the field with a severely twisted hambone. Culpepper is without any doubt the capo of that crew. And he had half the team, mired in the middle of that early season butt whooping streak, out on Lake Minnetonka partying like it was the off season. As soon as Dulpepper got ushered out of the picture the team started to play ball. So they toss the guy who engineered the whole thing? Ziggy, wake up Dude! Brad Childress is gonna do better?
The Jets got lucky with Herm Edwards. Not only was he smart enough to get them to the playoffs in 3 of his 5 seasons, but he was smart enough to run for the hills after this 4 and 12 train wreck. The Jets lost the whole team to injury this season including the here-for–to indestructible Curtis Martin. His franchise QB has a busted wing. This is a problem in a quarterback. The only good news is their draft pick, but the only guy that ever drafted well for the Jets is named Bill and works for the Cowboys. Time to split like a banana baby! The Jets should be thrilled with compensation for a guy with a lifetime losing record. Now if the Jets can lure a coach that doesn’t stink and can evaluate talent…
The football this week will be divine. The pretenders have been shown the door and the ballers are gonna throw down for our viewing enjoyment. I was one ruptured knee joint away from a perfect week. My chances for omnipotence all but destroyed along with Carson Palmer’s left leg. ‘Dems da brakes. This week we got Peyton and Alexander the Great to handicap, along with Tom Terrific and that superior Bears defense.
The first game this week, Saturday afternoon, has those streaking Skins visiting the Stout Seahawks of Paul Bunyan land. Another great coaching match-up as Gibbs faces Holmgren. All indicators point to the Hawks, except the Washington Natives already beat those unbeatable Birds this season. A team that wins with a hundred twenty yards on offense can beat anybody. Alexander has been outstanding this season by any measure. His postseason record has been spotty at best. Two games, 85 yards, but in one game his 45 yards included three TD’s. I am sure the Seattle braintrust would sign off right now for the 45 and 3 touches. The Red Machine won’t give up three on the ground. I think they can engineer this upset. The Seattle Dee is underrated but the Skins just had Tampa to deal with so any team will be a relief. Portis can, if he is healthy, go shot for shot with the Green Gorilla. I don’t see them having the worst offensive output in history two weeks in a row. And the Skin D will be the better one on the field. The Gibbs parade keeps rollin’.
The Pats are going to Mile High for an AFC rumble in the Saturday night game. The Brady Boys are the chic pick, but Denver has been super all year. Big time coaching match-up as Obi-Wan faces off against “I’ll turn your Mama into a 1000 yard rusher” Shanahan. I can see The Jedi master winning this one with a mind trick easy. Plummer had a real good season finally putting a stop to his habit of playing for the other team every once in a quarter. Brady is so good it is unreal. Last week 3 td’s no picks and we’ll see ya later Jacksonville. The guy is 28 and already on the short list for greatest ever. I can’t pick against him. My bet is another Vinatieri dagger in the heart of all the Mountain Boys.
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! Kick it off with a Colts win as the Steelers are gonna lose this one, unless they snap Peyton’s twigs.
This Just In… Mike Mularkey has quit on Buffalo. I can’t even write an article without a coaching change this season. Couldn’t they see that Mike was full of Mularkey?
The Cats take the plane to Soldier Field and face a keyed up Bear team in the playoff for the first time in recent memory. Well I guess they showed up in 2001 for a quick exit. The Panthers dismantled the G-men on the road last week causing much grumbling in Giant circles. I don’t understand how anybody thinks a team that is handing out linebacker numbers in the parking lot before the game can make noise on the field. Defense is important. And the Bears have it in spades. They were the #2 Dee this season and I think the Bucs would trade the crown to be playing this week. Steve Smith is freakin’ awesome. The Bears will have their hands full. DeShaun Foster ran like the wind last week and there is no way he matches that output against this team. The Bear O has taken its lumps all year but the kid kept the ship afloat and King Rex has the confidence of his team. The Cats have Delhomme and he has that winning gene that all QB’s would give a finger for. The Panthers always have that gunslinger’s chance. This game has the smallest spread with the visitors getting a point or 1 and a ½. Tom Jones has run for the tough yards all season. He had a career changing season as the go-to guy in Chi-town. It will be 30 degrees colder then last week in the swamp. Lovie will have the team prepared. I got the Monsters.
This week The Redskins raid Fort Hawk, The Donkeys watch the season go all red, white and blue, The Colts start a big run and the Bears represent in the 2nd city.
Communicate with the Oracle @ grazianimal@columnist.com
By Bob Graziano
Before we discuss this week’s games, I want to bring up the coaching carousel that has spun with abandon in the last two weeks. The number of dismissed Heads of Pigskin Playcalling is at nine and counting. Some guys had it coming (Norv “please just give me a coordinator’s job” Turner) and others ran screaming from their offices (Jim “taxi!” Haslett). In other places guy got the ax in spite of success. Yeah I am talking about Mike Tice.
All this guy did was turn around a sunken ship. His all-pro quarterback was indicted this year. Indicted! It is also no coincidence that the turnaround started as soon as they carted said all-pro off the field with a severely twisted hambone. Culpepper is without any doubt the capo of that crew. And he had half the team, mired in the middle of that early season butt whooping streak, out on Lake Minnetonka partying like it was the off season. As soon as Dulpepper got ushered out of the picture the team started to play ball. So they toss the guy who engineered the whole thing? Ziggy, wake up Dude! Brad Childress is gonna do better?
The Jets got lucky with Herm Edwards. Not only was he smart enough to get them to the playoffs in 3 of his 5 seasons, but he was smart enough to run for the hills after this 4 and 12 train wreck. The Jets lost the whole team to injury this season including the here-for–to indestructible Curtis Martin. His franchise QB has a busted wing. This is a problem in a quarterback. The only good news is their draft pick, but the only guy that ever drafted well for the Jets is named Bill and works for the Cowboys. Time to split like a banana baby! The Jets should be thrilled with compensation for a guy with a lifetime losing record. Now if the Jets can lure a coach that doesn’t stink and can evaluate talent…
The football this week will be divine. The pretenders have been shown the door and the ballers are gonna throw down for our viewing enjoyment. I was one ruptured knee joint away from a perfect week. My chances for omnipotence all but destroyed along with Carson Palmer’s left leg. ‘Dems da brakes. This week we got Peyton and Alexander the Great to handicap, along with Tom Terrific and that superior Bears defense.
The first game this week, Saturday afternoon, has those streaking Skins visiting the Stout Seahawks of Paul Bunyan land. Another great coaching match-up as Gibbs faces Holmgren. All indicators point to the Hawks, except the Washington Natives already beat those unbeatable Birds this season. A team that wins with a hundred twenty yards on offense can beat anybody. Alexander has been outstanding this season by any measure. His postseason record has been spotty at best. Two games, 85 yards, but in one game his 45 yards included three TD’s. I am sure the Seattle braintrust would sign off right now for the 45 and 3 touches. The Red Machine won’t give up three on the ground. I think they can engineer this upset. The Seattle Dee is underrated but the Skins just had Tampa to deal with so any team will be a relief. Portis can, if he is healthy, go shot for shot with the Green Gorilla. I don’t see them having the worst offensive output in history two weeks in a row. And the Skin D will be the better one on the field. The Gibbs parade keeps rollin’.
The Pats are going to Mile High for an AFC rumble in the Saturday night game. The Brady Boys are the chic pick, but Denver has been super all year. Big time coaching match-up as Obi-Wan faces off against “I’ll turn your Mama into a 1000 yard rusher” Shanahan. I can see The Jedi master winning this one with a mind trick easy. Plummer had a real good season finally putting a stop to his habit of playing for the other team every once in a quarter. Brady is so good it is unreal. Last week 3 td’s no picks and we’ll see ya later Jacksonville. The guy is 28 and already on the short list for greatest ever. I can’t pick against him. My bet is another Vinatieri dagger in the heart of all the Mountain Boys.
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! Kick it off with a Colts win as the Steelers are gonna lose this one, unless they snap Peyton’s twigs.
This Just In… Mike Mularkey has quit on Buffalo. I can’t even write an article without a coaching change this season. Couldn’t they see that Mike was full of Mularkey?
The Cats take the plane to Soldier Field and face a keyed up Bear team in the playoff for the first time in recent memory. Well I guess they showed up in 2001 for a quick exit. The Panthers dismantled the G-men on the road last week causing much grumbling in Giant circles. I don’t understand how anybody thinks a team that is handing out linebacker numbers in the parking lot before the game can make noise on the field. Defense is important. And the Bears have it in spades. They were the #2 Dee this season and I think the Bucs would trade the crown to be playing this week. Steve Smith is freakin’ awesome. The Bears will have their hands full. DeShaun Foster ran like the wind last week and there is no way he matches that output against this team. The Bear O has taken its lumps all year but the kid kept the ship afloat and King Rex has the confidence of his team. The Cats have Delhomme and he has that winning gene that all QB’s would give a finger for. The Panthers always have that gunslinger’s chance. This game has the smallest spread with the visitors getting a point or 1 and a ½. Tom Jones has run for the tough yards all season. He had a career changing season as the go-to guy in Chi-town. It will be 30 degrees colder then last week in the swamp. Lovie will have the team prepared. I got the Monsters.
This week The Redskins raid Fort Hawk, The Donkeys watch the season go all red, white and blue, The Colts start a big run and the Bears represent in the 2nd city.
Communicate with the Oracle @ grazianimal@columnist.com
posted by grazianimal at 12:37 PM
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