Week Eleven

The Time is NOW!
By the Grazianimal


All season we wait. We search and search and we haggle and conspire. Then it Happens! Every year a featured back spits the bit or in this case busts his paw and we can pounce. Clinton Portis has stunk all season and made many a Skin fan wince with his mediocre production, but the light has shone down on young Ladell Betts and he is available. This guy has been picking up the slack for Portis all season and to be honest Ladell has looked better then his more bally-hooed compatriot. Now here is the really good news, the Redskins still have to play all the games on their schedule, so Ladell is gonna see some work.
Washington came into the season riding high after a playoff win last year. An aging QB, Clinton Portis slowed and now out for the year with injury and a defense that regressed considerably all combined to put the season in the crap heap. Joe Gibbs has made the decision to go with Jason Campbell. Lets hope the kid is at least good enough to win the job from 55 year-old Mark Brunell. I think that Betts will show enough down the stretch that Clinton will be splitting carries next year at best. Now if my Fantasy team did not crap the bed worse then the Skins this year…
I gotta talk to you about the New Orleans Saints. How important is a QB that does not stink? Aaron Brooks for Drew Brees. It takes Reggie Bush 10 weeks to find the endzone and the Used to be ’Aints are 6 and 3. ’Nuff said.
Tom Brady has been a cornerstone QB for a while. A lot of teams depend on him without a second thought. Well it is time to put your thinking caps on. The dude has lost two in a row for the first time in forever. He is nursing a severe injury. If he wasn’t do you think that The Sweatshirt would have dusted off Vinny for this week’s rumble on the tundra. Brady is a higher risk then he first appears. He could see the pine in a blow out or get knocked out if a hit aggravates his injury. The Pack is a much better team at home in Lambeau. Sit Brady if a decent option is on your roster.
The best game of the week will be in Dallas. The Colts are rollin’ again and The Cowpokes are a whole different set of rootin’ tootin’ hombre’s with Romo at the reins. Jason Witten has returned as a must start TE with Romo passing. Mike Francessa said Witten was seeing the ball not because Romo loved him, but because the TE was actually out in passing routes instead of blocking for Bledsoe. Makes sense to me. This game is gonna be fun. You know that nobody can stop Peyton until the playoffs loom. T.O. will be present. The Colts are so bad against the run that either Dallas RB looks like a good #2 start. Pigskins will fly.
Trent Green is back in the saddle again. He took off 2 and a half months with tweety birds circling the old noggin. If he was not a superior passer then Herm would have stuck with Huard like he wanted to. This is good news for all KC offensive options. Trent gets the Raiders at home for his return. A better QB will make the field open up for LJ and LJ makes all defenses ignore the passing game. Some points should be up for grabs. Kris Wilson will be subing for Tony Gonzalez if you need a flyer TE and Samie Parker is a good option at WR if you need a WR on short notice.
Condolences to the family Schembechler.

Grazianimal@columnist.com

For ESPN.com

New York is #1
By Bob Graziano
When it comes to football New York is number 1. More footballs get tossed, caught spiked and fumbled in New York then all the other states combined. More NFL licensed jerseys, coffee mugs, linens and baby rattles are tossed in the back of closets in New York then in all the closets west of the Mississippi. In New York football, dare I say Football, is King.
Pro Football is the capo di tuti capi of Football. The NFL is the gold standard for Football excellence. In New York we have not one, not two, but three professional Football teams playing on any given NFL Sunday. In New York more people enjoy Pro Football than in the rest of the world. It takes a whole region to support the Patriots. The Denver Bronco‘s are the only team for 600 miles. You can‘t get on the subway and not meet a New York Jet.
“The Greatest Game Ever Played” went down in Yankee Stadium, New York City, New York. That game made the NFL. New York built the National Football League. The Giants beat the Colts. Mark Gastineau invented the sack dance. No Football game is played today without sack dances. Marv Levy goes to every Super Bowl. They give him tickets. Frank Gifford invented the forward pass, and that landed him Kathy Lee. Va Va Voom.
College Football is all about New York. Rutgers plays underneath the Empire State Building. Just ask ESPN. Ever hear of the Army-Navy game? That goes down in West Point, New York. The Army-Navy game is what built College Football. And without the Army-Navy there is no America. All thanks to New York.
And we play just as much High School Football as any place else in the grand old U.S. of A. It is just not the only thing going on Friday night, but hey, when was the last time Billy Joel played the Texarkana Garden?
In summation, New York is Number 1 in Football. Rutgers is in New York. Mark Gastineau will defeat Emmitt Smith on Dancing with the Stars, and you can’t beat NY Football. Unless you play the Bills in the Super Bowl, then you have a pretty good shot.
Grazanimal@columnist.com

Week 9 2006

Number 9

By The 52X


Week nine is here and it is now or never for 3 and 5 suckers like me. Here is some hot info for the Fantasy Football owner with his ear to the ground. Reggie Bush will explode and Mike Vick is likely to be out for the season. Why? Because I just traded Bush for Vick. That’s why.

I am betting that history is no indicator of future performance. I think my crap team can turn it around. That is why I am still trying to win this season and that is why I traded away RB depth for a red-hot QB right now. Now is the time to spend any roster depth you have for guys that can help you this week. If you are on the outside looking in the Playoffs start today.

Let’s look at some guys you should target to turn it around or get over the hump:

Brian Westbrook has been unreal this season for the Eagles. His injury history and the fact that he is on a bye week 9 could combine to make Westbrook owners skittish on keeping him and that means that you could add him to your line-up with the right package. Westbrook’s schedule is sweet with the Deadskins twice, Tennessee and no tackling Indy coming up. This trade will take a lot of sweet talking, but the payoff could be a playoff berth.

If you need QB help like I did then Trent Green is a big wild card. He has been out since the middle of the first game, but he was a highly regarded passer on draft day. His coach has assured him that he will start. He has LJ keeping teams in 8 and 9 man boxes. This guy is on the waiver wire in many leagues. If you have been looking at crap QB totals then starting week 10 Green could be your answer.

Hines Ward is a notorious slow starter and the Steelers have fallen out of the sky this season. That means that he could be had at this time. Hines is a solid vet and the Steelers are a better team then they have shown so far this season. His numbers should improve with New Orleans and Cleveland coming up, but with the Broncos this week Ward owners might be convinced to part ways with the smiling wideout.

This week Football Fans get a marquee match-up to seek their teeth into. The Colts, who are in the middle of their early season unbeatable streak, face their arch nemesis when they travel to Foxboro, home of the 6 and 1 Patriots. The game will be a showcase of this generation’s finest Quarterbacks as Brady and Peyton face off. There is a big difference this year. The secret weapon that New England used to such stunning effect for 3 Super Bowl wins is now calling Indy home. That’s right, Adam Vinatieri is over his early season injury bug and kicking for the Colts. The Pats replaced him with a rookie, Steve Goskowski, and he has done a good job. But does he have the ice water circulatory system that Vinatieri exhibited so many times? More importantly can Adam rub some of those steel nerves off on Peyton? If this game was in 5 or 6 weeks with New England looking to put away another division championship then I would have to reconsider. This Sunday I see Peyton keeping it close enough to let Adam get some payback on the cheapskate Pats.

If you are a betting man then Week 9 offers a rare treat. 2 and 5 Pitt greets 5 and 2 Denver and Denver is getting the points. This game is sure to be a good one. The reigning reeling champs face the Broncos that they put away back in January. It has been a long 10 months for the Steelers and specifically Big Ben Rothlisberger. If this guy walked in front of a train this week I would believe it. Of course he would be up and about in 3 or 2 days. It is not everyday that a 5 and 2 team is an underdog, forget about facing a 2 and 5 club. The bookies are begging you to take the favorite. Take them up on it.

The time is now to sell the farm and put all your chips in the pot. If you need wins then any players not in your starting line-up are expendable. Make a savvy trade and you could be sitting pretty, but there is no use praying for better returns from the guys that have you scrambling as the trading deadline approaches.

Write the Grazianimal at grazianimal@columnist.com and tell him what ya think.

Time to Turn Around!

Week #7:
Time to Push

The Grazianimal


Let’s talk football. Don your gasmasks. No sarin attacks are gonna stop this crowd from Sunday. Fantasy Football has been cooking along and I for one am sitting at 2 and 4 and expecting my usual late season push to put me over the top. This week is the turn in most leagues. Everybody squeezzzz!

Running Backs are what FF is all about, unless your wide receivers explode. This season has seen few major RB injuries so far, unless you count Shaun Alexander (but he was stinking it up). That means no free agent saviors yet. That also means that the guys that got drafted need to produce. Clinton Portis needs to produce. He started the season as the biggest question mark at the top of the draft. By now those injury issues are history, but the Redskins stinking up the field has become a front and center problem. Portis has yet to bust that mythical 100 yard plateau. He is spouting in the press about needing the team to put it on those shoulders of his. Portis owners better hope. 14 attempts in a game are not what a #1 RB is all about. That is Reggie Bush territory. With a crap Colt run D and the Skins in desperate need of a win, a ball control game plan is what’s needed to save the Washington season and put Portis owners in the pink.

LaMont Jordan is another guy that went first round way back when. He makes Portis look consistent with his horrible output so far this season. His team is the pits with their captain openly campaigning to be sent out of town and last week’s late game fumble making the highlight rounds. The good news is that the Raiders get perennial patsy Arizona this week. The bad news is that the Cards looked downright dangerous last week on Monday night against the toast of the league Bears. The Card D allowed none of those magnificent plays that Chi-Town used to shock those Monday insomniacs, allowing 168 total yards. Dennis Green might lose his job if the Cards let down in this game. LaMont is also nursing a bruised back. If you have another option this is the week to sit Jordan.

The Giants are a soap opera this season and week #7 has their #1 guy calling it quits in the media. The super savvy Tiki said all he wants to do is split this crowd and start learning at the foot of Boomer, Esiason or Berman will do. This could be a motivating ploy by the team leader to get his team to concentrate. I figure with most of the season ahead of him, Tiki might want to keep those yearnings to himself. Bill Parcells has got to be stressing to the Cowboys that Barber wants none of them. Both these teams need this game to keep the heat on the Eagles. The question is will it matter. Tiki Barber is the best back in FF right now. He might have a bad game on the road on Monday against a division opponent and still put up big numbers. He starts on every team in Fantasyland, just don’t look for 185 yards out of Barber this week.


All good owners play the match-ups. This week has the Lions traveling to the Swamp to play those better then expected Jets. This is a game where Fantasy points could be had. No way the defenses dominate in this game. Barlow and Washington on the Jets are good options if your roster has anything but two stud RB’s ahead of them. Also the Lions can’t stop the pass so Jet receiving options look good this week. Coles and Cotchery are probably owned, but TE Baker is out there in ¾ of leagues and is as good a spot start TE are you will find this week. Roy Williams is a stud, but Az-Zahir Hakim is owned by almost no one and will see as many balls as Mike Furrey. He is a nice flyer.

Last week I sat Jake Delhomme and used a guy with a better match up. I got burned. Still in this game looking for the downhill path will pay dividends over a season. Bad teams give up more yards and points. When your guys play bad teams then the odds move in your favor. Play Green Bay players in Miami and be careful of Mike Vick against Pittsburgh. It is not brain surgery. Play Panthers, don’t touch the Texans, unless you have Andre Johnson. See, piece of cake!

Brawlin' an' Rapin' YeeHaw!

T.O. and All Things Miami
By Bob “Grazianimal 52X” Graziano

So this football weekend saw 3 TD’s out of our favorite wide mouth and well over 3 felony assaults out of our most favorite work release program in Miami. Juan Uribe apparently shot a couple of dudes in the D.R., and Koren Robinson pleaded not guilty in this week’s NFL/DUI/DWI showcase. What this all means is that it is time again for sportswriters to pontificate on the State of Union or at least the state of Larry Coker’s job. Oh, I almost forgot, Fox Sports fired Lamar Thomas, Miami Alum, because during the brawl he said, among other things, that he wanted to take the elevator to the field and hop on in.
What does all this lunacy mean? On the one hand T.O. gets rewarded with playing time and redzone looks no matter what bizarre behavior he lets loose with and on the other Larry Coker can’t lose his job even though his football games look like extra scenes from Braveheart. Maybe that is on the same hand. This seeming Jock Crime Wave does not just include the big programs and guys we know by their initials. Just in today’s headlines two Albany Great Danes were facing rape charges. Jesus, I thought jocks got the girls willingly. They must have really wanted to go to Duke.
I don’t need to continue with the roll call. Anyone mildly interested in sports is aware that police blotter and the sports page are often one and the same. Indiana b-ballers, retired Dallas cowboys, anybody that calls their school “The U”. Didn’t they teach them the name of the place? I am no prude, or homebody. I understand that these guys lead high profile lives with any number of hangers-on and more paper then lotto winners. As they say, Feces Occurs, but shootings, rapes and drug arrests have become an all to common facet of the sports landscape.
We have to do better by our kids. Jocks are the most privileged of the lot, and the better they are the longer that we insulate them from the trials of everyday life. That may be why so often they end up on trial. These young men in Miami need to face some kind of real consequence. A week off in that party town is a favor not a punishment. They went apeshit wild for the second time this season. Show some of these dudes the door. Oh wait, then we have to deal with them. Never mind.
On second thought let these animals run wild, baby! I mean, I call myself the Grazianimal, don’t I? Is anybody really upset when the Hurricanes go nuts? The school doesn’t care. The suspensions handed down seemed the lightest imaginable. The University of Miami would not forgo one penny of revenue to show their students that Lunacy and Mass Rioting were not acceptable, so why should I feel any guilt for enjoying the same madness. If Duke students don’t have any shame asking that dancers incorporate broomsticks into their act then why do I feel bad about it? I could not get into Duke with a .38. If I tried the student body would probably return fire.

The Kicking Tee #2

The Kicking Tee #2

By Bob Graziano


Week 5 is upon us and now all owners should have a good idea about their own teams and their league as a whole. Should have picked another RB, huh? Still the Championship in every league should be very much in the air at this point. The Moves are There to be Made!

Randy Moss is just one highly drafted WR that is underperforming all over the football field this season. Joe Horn is looking old and slow for a Saint team making a youth movement. Joey Galloway followed a nice performance by catching one ball (it was for a TD) and losing his QB. All these guys might have been looked at as #1’s on draft day. A dude in my league passed on Anquan for Randy, whoops. If you need a player at WR look to the always humming Green Bay attack for Greg Jennings who has impressed as a rookie and developed a nice relationship with Brett Farve. And Koren Robinson does not have to go to jail ‘till May! With Donald Driver nursing bruised ribs these dudes might be see a lot of pigskin in the next few weeks. Also Arnaz Battle and Travis Taylor are guys that might need a team and look to see nice matchups week 5.

At QB some guys are rollin’ and some guys are getting rolled. Chad Pennington has looked like his old self this season. Culpepper has looked like he is standing in mud. If you need a QB because you bet on Daunte’ look to the Great White North for Brad Johnson. He has a nice opponent and he has shown since replacing Mr. Culpepper that he can throw TD’s and win games at home against mediocre teams. Damon Huard looked impressive last week, but be careful. The Chiefs are on the road and they have always been a team that likes home cooking. Also look to replace Mark Brunell this week. He is at the Meadowlands where he lost 36 nothing last year. The Skins could win a game a lot of ways that don’t compute to big QB numbers or they could take another whooping.

Running Back is the place where everybody could use a player, if not for your line-up then as trade bait. As previewed in this column Correll Buckhalter’s stock is rising now that Westbrook is missing time in Philly. Musa Smith has been a disappointment so far in Baltimore, but he is still young and since Jamal Lewis is disappointing as well, Smith might see carries and 3rd down passes in the weeks to come. He should be more available then his teammate Mike Anderson. The Jet situation at the start of the season looked like a Merry-Go-Round. Well the Go-Round tossed off Cedric Houston last week so Kevin Barlow (4 TD’s) and Leon Washington should see tries this week in Jacksonville. Ron Dayne is a guy that has a number one job in Houston and could be had in some leagues for free. You probably could do worse if you have to sub for a guy on a bye week.
Need a Defense, Vikings. Need a TE, Bubba Franks. Need a Kicker, Vinny Boom Batts should be back this week. Need somebody to talk to: grazianimal@columnist.com

The Kicking Tee

The Grazianimal Starts The Season on the PUP List!!

A cold and an absurd work schedule conspired to put the 52X on the shelf week 1. I had to watch the Manning Bowl through binoculars from my crash pad in Ridgewood. Looks like Eli needs some Cajun seasonin’!
Week 1 in Fantasy is always a blast as all the boys that everybody eyeballed for months and snagged in drafts finally play some ball that counts. Many questions that bedeviled owners across the land get answered in Week 1 and some new ones rear their ugly head. Lets try to get some figurin’ done.
T.O. sat in training camp and seemingly twisted the nose of his new owner and coach with a B.S. leg cramp and no apparent work ethic. At this point it is pretty clear that the guy is gonna do what the guy is gonna do. What he wants to do is play ball and he did that with no ill effects from last season or the training camp drama making an appearance. 6 balls for 80 and a TD was not the best line of the week, but the way he pulled down the TD pass and Bledsoe’s desire to use his new weapon instead of snub him all bode well for the season. Don’t be surprised if T.O. is the best WR in fantasyland this year. Expect a huge game in his home opener against division opponent Washington.
The Redskins have big questions of their own. Clinton Portis had a shoulder injury that sat him for all most all of the pre-season. He was supposed to sit for the first game at least. Then he took the field and recorded 39 yards and a TD with 2 catches to boot. Now he is listed as doubtful with an aching shoulder, the injury that started it all. People that ignored the injury and expected the Portis of last year can’t be happy with 39 yards, touchdown or no. People that took him in the second or third rounds looking for a steal can not be happy that his shoulder hurts after limited use in one game. Or Gibbs could be lying through his teeth. If you have other options then sit him until he performs like a healed man or, as Coach Gibbs stated, PRAY.
The Ultimate Weapon, Reggie Bush, was another question mark heading into the first game of his career. The Texans passed on him, raising eyebrows back in April. The Saints have a vet back ahead of him and alot invested in him and that could have meant a cautious start to Bush’s career in Black and Gold. So what did week one show? The Texans are idiots. Take that one to the bank. And the Saints are gonna use All-World all the time. 14 runs for 61 yards and 8 catches for 58 more and he returned kicks. He will find the end zone soon enough and at this point all indications are that he will be the total package for years to come. Week 2 at Green Bay in the past would have meant a tough time for the Saints, but with Farve turning over the ball in pure 2005 form, Drew Brees at QB instead of Crappy Brooks, and a whole city to inspire, watch the Saints and The Straw That Stirs the Drink explode on the not yet frozen tundra.
Beware early returns! Dewey did not defeat Truman and the Eagles are gonna stink this year. The story was all clear in post T.O. Eagleland after they spanked the Texans. But the Texans passed on Mr. Electric and thought Dominick Davis would carry the load. DD is gonna miss the season. Need any more idea what kind of talent evaluators work in Houston. The Eagles face a different kind of opponent with the G-men coming to town. Westbrook is already missing practice with a swelled knee. McNabb will be lucky to play in 16 games this year. Is Donte Stallworth going to be all league week in and week out? Against the NFC East? The Eagles will be lucky to see 8 and 8.
So things are starting to percolate. Don’t overreact to an early loss. Fantasy rewards a steady hand. See if the guy in your league will move Owens for a #2 RB. And write the Grazianimal@columnist.com